DATE: 07 Jul 2008, 11:41 am / MOOD: In love

NEVER CRY FOR ANY RELATION IN LIFE
BECAUSE FOR THE ONE WHOM YOU CRY
DOES NOT DESERVE YOUR TEARS
AND THE ONE WHO DESERVES
WILL NEVER LET YOU CRY.................

TREAT EVERYONE WITH POLITENESS
EVEN THOSE WHO ARE RUDE TO YOU,
NOT BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT NICE
BUT BECAUSE YOU ARE NICE.......................

NEVER SEARCH YOUR HAPPINESS IN OTHERS
WHICH WILL MAKE YOU FEEL ALONE,
RATHER SEARCH IT IN YOURSELF
YOU WILL FEEL HAPPY
EVEN IF YOU ARE LEFT ALONE......................

ALWAYS HAVE
A POSITIVE ATTITUDE IN LIFE.
THERE IS SOMETHING POSITIVE
IN EVERY PERSON.
EVEN A STOPPED WATCH IS RIGHT
TWICE A DAY...................................

HAPPINESS ALWAYS LOOKS SMALL
WHEN WE HOLD IT IN OUR HANDS.
BUT WHEN WE LEARN TO SHARE IT,
WE REALIZE HOW BIG AND PRECIOUS IT IS!................



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DATE: 27 Jun 2008, 3:27 pm / MOOD: Drunk

The following is the transcript of an actual radio conversation in October 1995, between a US Navy ship and the British authorities off the north coast of Scotland. The transcript was released by the MoD on the 10/10/95.

BRITISH: Please diverts your course 15 degrees to the South. To avoid collision.

US Navy: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the North to avoid collision

BRITISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid collision

US Navy: This is the Captain of US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

BRITISH: Negative I say again diverts your course.

US Navy: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER 'USS LINCOLN' THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S 15 DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

BRITISH: We are a lighthouse YOU DAMN ******' YANKEES!


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DATE: 18 Jun 2008, 12:08 pm / MOOD: Drunk

Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book and said, “My Mobile number has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 3310, now it is 6610”

Ah Beng: I am a Proud, because my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying?
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are studying him.

Ah Beng: Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
Dr: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng: Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

Ah Beng: If I die, will you remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng: No, I'll also stay with your sister.

Ah Beng: People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know?
Ah Beng: When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD! You have come again.

Ah Beng complained to the police: “Sir, all items are missing, except the TV in my house.”
Police: “why the thief did not take TV?”
Ah Beng: “I was watching TV news...”

Ah Beng comes back to his car and find a note saying 'Parking Fine', He writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for compliment.'

How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and says “Hello, how did you know I was here?”

Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

Teacher: “I killed a person” convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng: The future tense is “you will go to jail”

Ah Beng told his servant: “Go and water the plants!”
Servant: “It's already rain.”
Ah Beng: “So what? Take an umbrella and go.”

A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the evening and not in the morning Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM.


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DATE: 02 Jun 2008, 9:52 am / MOOD: Drunk

Salam adik adik soma,

ni poKCik kelik doh... poKCik sihat, letih sikit bawak kereta jale jale jauh nih.

Tak dok gapo kota bharu nuh, woh pauh mahal, duriae tak doh, ga sekaro tak dok sano... sek sek luar mari bare jadi mahal.

poKCik gi kor gannu... jale jem teruk kat KT. Oghe wat konstruction besa jale situ... hok 45min jadi 2 jae kalu lalu. poKCik tok singgah kt tapi lepok kat kemamang... jadi oghe kemamang

kemamang pun tak dok sekarao poKCik wat... lepok cherating mandi patai ngar anok anok... lepas tu gi ngail... nak kato boring selok kelu pun dok sebab memang nak cuti rehat tok serabut kepalo.

ni poKCik nak royat, poKCik berenti kerjo doh... kira 1 ogos ni jadi penganggur lah... hehehe. Doh dok sebek kat pejabat ni tok wak gapo satu baik poKCik relek gumah.

hu hu hu poKCik jadi suami-gumah-tanggo lah

poKCik nok gi dah ni... kalu nok tengok gambar poKCik hok telebeh hensom ni carilah poKCik kat yahoo search. tok payoh... tulih sebastianjoshua kat yahoo image search tu... sohih jupo poKCik

salam sayang untuk adik adik comel belako belako eye_knee_kawai cute_gurl EFFA deeya purplegurl PUTRIE adriyana_maya Qylinz acika dupdap123

hok jate tok soh lah... kae oghe kato poKCik gay laks... hehehe



gatal sungguh oghe tuo ni keh keh keh

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DATE: 22 May 2008, 8:29 am / MOOD: Bored

Krisis oh Krisis

Lama dulu kita sibuk pasal krisis kelapa, gula, tepung, minyak masak dan sekarang kita ada krisis beras. Belum kita cerita lagi yang bebarang naik harga mendadak seperti bawang, lada, sayuran, ikan udang sotong daging dan banyak lagi. Kelam kabut dengan barangan yang naik, dalam diam sebenarnya banyak lagi barang naik seperti barangan pembinaan, tol, pakaian sekolah dan bermacam macam. Batu ladung memancing pun naik harga.

Sapa salah ni? Rakyat salah kerana terlalu bermewah ke atau kerajaan yang tidak stabil?

Orang kata puncanya adalah dari minyak kerana minyak dunia sekarang ini dalam sekitar USD 129.50. Kalau harga minyak melambung tinggi maka SEPATUTNYA Petronas jadi makin kaya raya. Petronas tu kan hak kerajaan Malaysia maka SEPATUTNYA kerajaan Malaysia jadi kaya raya dan SEPATUTNYA kerajaan Malaysia ini asalnya dari rakyat maka SEPATUTNYA rakyat hidup senang dan kaya raya.

Sapa salah ni? Rakyat salah kerana terlalu bermewah ke atau kerajaan yang tidak stabil?

Lagi sedikit bab minyak. Rasanya dua tahun lepas Iran telah menyelar dunia kerana menggunakan matawang US Dollar untuk perdagangan. Hari ini terbukti bahawa matawang Amerika penyebab utama barangan dunia meningkat dengan mendadak. Minyak melambung bukan kerana permintaan mendadak tetapi kerana ekonomi Amerika telah runtuh.

Maka barangsiapa yang masih lagi taksub dengan US Dollar akan terperangkap satu hari nanti kerana matawang Amerika tidak akan bernilai lagi.

Itu krisis barangan, krisis moral dan kehidupan rakyat macam mana? Siapakah yang melambakkan pendatang haram di Malaysia? Kes jenayah yang melambung tinggi seolah olah tiada kesudahan. Rasuah seakan sarapan pagi yang wajib diambil untuk kesihatan poket. DAN siapa yang mencipta bohsia, borjan, mat rempit, mat pit, pelacuran dikalangan siswi serta lambakan bayi dalam tong sampah.

Adakah ibu bapa yang salah atau kerajaan yang tidak faham erti nilai modal insan?

Krisis terbaru, DRM keluar UMNO. Dikatakan bahawa salah Pak Lah yang menyebabkan ketidakstabilan UMNO dan salah Pak Lah menyebabkan PRU 12 hilang majoriti di Parlimen.

Siapakah geranan manusia yang memimpin UMNO selama 22 tahun sehingga menyebabkan rakyat jelata memandang UMNO sebagai anjing kurap yang tidak henti menyalak?

Siapakah manusia yang mencipta pemimpin-pemimpin UMNO yang merasakan diri mereka kebal dengan undang-undang?

Siapakah manusia yang menjadikan pemimpin-pemimpin UMNO yang hidup mewah, boros dan laparkan duit?

Siapakah manusia yang mendidik pemimpin-pemimpin UMNO yang riak, takbur, sombong, bongkak, besar diri, bangga diri dan tidak boleh ditegur?

Siapakah manusia yang melahirkan pemimpin-pemimpin UMNO yang menyalahgunakan kuasa, kedudukan, pangkat untuk diri dan sanak saudara?

Dan akhir sekali, siapakah manusia yang meruntuhkan kehidupan masyarakat Malaysia dengan idea dan perancangan serta pembangunan pesat tanpa mengira kemampuan masyarakat untuk mengikutinya.

Oh sebelum itu, siapakah manusia yang mencipta pemimpin-pemimpin UMNO yang cukup berkuasa di dunia ini?

Krisis oh krisis, rakyat yang menjadi mangsa. Yang kaya bertambah kaya dan yang miskin papa kedana.




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DATE: 13 May 2008, 6:28 pm / MOOD: Drunk

This incident happened recently in North Texas

A woman went boating one Sunday taking with her some cans of coke which she put into the refrigerator of the boat. On Monday she was taken to the hospital and placed in the Intensive Care Unit. She died on Wednesday.

The autopsy concluded she died of Leptospirosis. This was traced to the can of coke she drank from, not using a glass. Tests showed that the can was infected by dried rat urine and hence the disease Leptospirosis.

Rat urine contains toxic and deathly substances. It is highly recommended to thoroughly wash the upper part of soda cans before drinking out of them. The cans are typically stocked in warehouses and transported straight to the shops without being cleaned.

A study at NYCU showed that the tops of soda cans are more contaminated than public toilets (i.e).. full of germs and bacteria. So wash them with water before putting them to the mouth to avoid any kind of fatal accident.
[IMAGE]


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DATE: 29 Apr 2008, 5:16 pm / MOOD: In love

Let's see if you send it back. We all know or knew someone like this!!

One day, when I was a freshman in high school,
I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.
His name was Kyle.
It looked like he was carrying all of his books.
I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday?
He must really be a nerd.'
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him.
They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.
His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him.
He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes
My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.
As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks.
They really should get lives.’
He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!'
There was a big smile on his face.

It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived.
As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.
He said he had gone to private school before now.
I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.
We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books.
He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.
I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends
He said yes.
We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.
I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!’
He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends..
When we were seniors we began to think about college.
Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke.
I knew that we would always be friends that the miles would never be a problem.
He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship..
Kyle was valedictorian of our class.
I teased him all the time about being a nerd.
He had to prepare a speech for graduation.
I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak

Graduation day, I saw Kyle.
He looked great.
He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school.
He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.
He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.
Boy, sometimes I was jealous!

Today was one of those days.
I could see that he was nervous about his speech.
So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!'
He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled.
' Thanks,' he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began
'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years.
Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends...
I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them.
I am going to tell you a story.'
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met.
He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.
He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.
He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.
'Thankfully, I was saved.
My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.'
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.
I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.
Not until that moment did I realize its depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions.
With one small gesture you can change a person's life.
For better or for worse.

God puts us all in each other’s lives to impact one another in some way.
Look for God in others.
'Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.'
There is no beginning or end.. Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.


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DATE: 28 Apr 2008, 10:54 am / MOOD: Bored


Subject: SATAN

A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the back entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. So Satan walked up to the man and said, 'Do you know who I am?' The man replied, 'Yep, sure do.' 'Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked. 'Nope, sure ain't.' said the man.

'Don't you realise I can kill you with one word?' asked Satan. 'Don't doubt it for a minute,' returned the old man, in an even tone. 'Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?' persisted Satan. 'Yep,' was the calm reply. 'And you're still not afraid?' asked Satan. 'Nope,' said the old man. More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, 'Why aren't you afraid of me?'

The man calmly replied, ‘Been married to your sister for 48 years.’



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DATE: 21 Apr 2008, 1:59 pm / MOOD: High

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.'

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens. Then in a normal tone he asks,

'Honey, what's for dinner?' No response. So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats,

'Honey, what's for dinner?' Still no response. Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks,

'Honey, what's for dinner?' Again he gets no response. So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. 'Honey, what's for dinner?' Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. 'Honey, what's for dinner?' 'Ralph , for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!'


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DATE: 17 Apr 2008, 11:26 am / MOOD: Full of life

Remember this especially when we buy lots of ice cream during Baskin Robbins 31st day offer!!! They normally put dry ice in your ice cream pack if you buy a lot.

A friend bought four pack of ice cream and to prevent it from melting, the seller put the dry ice amongst the ice cream. My friend put it at the back seat (not the back of the car) and he started to drive with the windows closed and the aircond on (as what we all do). Soon after that, he had difficulty to breathe and it was getting worsened by minutes.

Luckily, he was in a traffic jam and when he almost fainted, beside him was an ambulance. He dragged himself to the ambulance and got the oxygen treatment. He was getting better on the way to the hospital. The ambulance officer drove his car to the hospital and he had the same experience. However, before his condition worsen, he opened up the window and he can breathe easily. Only later, when my friend has returned to office and told his colleagues about his story, they pointed to him that the dry ice was the problem. WHY?

Dry ice was made of CO2 and when it "melts", it becomes CO2 gas straight away without leaving any wet mark (that is why it is called dry ice). CO2 is easier to be tied up in our blood and thus, when the dry ice sublimes into CO2 gas, it fills the car room with it along with the aircond circulation and caused CO2 poisoning. So, don’t put the dry ice inside your car if you are using aircond with fully closed windows. You must leave the windows open for such situation. Hope this will help to prevent any fatality just from a small negligence like this. Imagine if you have your children inside, they might be the first victim.


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